Keptquisling’s Weblog

My heart skips a beat whenever I see her. I forget my tasks and remember her brilliance, in awe of her accomplishments. And for a few moments all that I could think of was how I could make her mine.

I’m not innocent, this feeling in my clammy hands, coldness of breath, floating thoughts and fearfulness, I’ve felt it all before. In between sleeping with women I’m barely attracted to, while in the confines of my house, my room, I dream of having her with me in bed, sharing a soft intimacy my heart yearns for. A warmth embrace looking for a companion where words can mean everything, but not having everything explained.

I betray, as I know I will feel this again for someone else somewhere someday, my desires hurt people. Those close to me, and those who plan their futures around my endeavours. I’m a traitor though I don’t mean to be, my name befits me and the fickle nature of my wants.

Whatever I do, whatever choices I make, nothing will turn out well. Being true means pain and consequences, am I prepared for the repercussions of my choice? When death finds me, I won’t have any regrets…