Keptquisling’s Weblog

My aunt has a tricked-out jeepney she uses to ferry multinationals around whenever they’re in the country. I guess foreigners are just really curious about our culture. The jeepney is after all, a perfect example of how filipinos can survive without adapting to the times. A couple of decades of automotive technological advancements doesn’t seem to faze the jeepney, with it’s nice chrome shine. Designed without the safety of it’s passengers in mind, when this thing crashes and you’re a passenger, make sure to make peace with your enemies and prepare to meet whomever your think is your maker.

A couple of new laws were passed promoting the use of seatbelts, and sure enough, these jeepneys got seatbelts as well. But without crash tests and a place to fasten the three point  belt system, it’s very likely that these jeepney seatbelts would sooner lynch the driver than it would keep him from smashing through the windshield in an accident.

Then there’s the whole whacked management side of things, there are jeepneys everywhere. At any given time in any spot in any intersection in the country, we have dozens of these vehicles clogging the highways, drivers sitting on their asses waiting for passengers. There’s just too many of them, all fighting over same small pool of people to ferry around. These situations gave rise to “barkers”, obnoxious idiots who would sooner tell you where you should go rather than ask where you need to be. I don’t care how much they shout, but if a person is going north, and the jeepney is going south, no amount of vocal prowess is going to make the passenger ride on their little deathtraps.

But then, what does efficiency, supply and demand, and production mean to the average filipino? Nothing probably, as they’d sooner vote their idols into office rather than get someone who  could manage the country well. Candidates here don’t win with programs and plaforms, they win with how much noise they make and how much dirt they can dig up about their opposition. Money doesn’t grow on trees, but nobody seems to understand that.

It is yet another merry monday, and I’ve got a whole bunch of new stuff to do. Hoping to finish things this week, I’ll have yet another batch next week, until I finish all of my subjects.

I’ve been quite busy downloading roms and changing their regions so they’d work on my trusty Saturn. I almost have all the games I’ve wanted for the thing since I bought it back in 96. It’s really encouraging to find an entire community dedicated to homebrew for it, seems like I’m not the only one holding a candle for the defunct system.

After I’m satisfied with my collection, and of course getting the roms to work, I’ll be working on my dreamcast library next. But I’ll just be getting back ups for it, since I bought almost all the titles I wanted back in 99′.

To answer the question a certain cowoker’s been bugging me about lately, yes, I do. I’m just as interested in you as you are in me, it’s just that I have issues having relationships with people I have to see everyday for the next couple of years. What if we hit it off and then break up? Don’t you think it’d be less than pleasant to see each other everyday, trying to avoid each other on hallways, our desks and the pantry?

That and the fact that you’re so loud. Yes, you’re pretty, smart and a whole lot of other niceties, it’s just that, announcing that you want me to be your boyfriend to the entire staff draws unneccessarry attention that I’ve spent most of my life trying to avoid. I like being in the shadows, it’s quiet and it helps me think.

I like you, I really do, it’s just that I’m not going to do anything about it. Now I’ll have to ask myself if I want to send you a link to my blog.

Btw, you look really nice with those glasses on.

Now that I’m studying psycho again, I’ve been musing about which of my desires are instinctive or are derived from my values. Obviously, we’re attracted to people we think highly of, but being attracted to someone just because she’s pretty comes from something else. Attraction to a pretty face is as normal as eating or drinking, of course the church would have you think the devil is behind it all, but then the church damns us for breathing anyway, so it pretty much makes as much sense as anything else they teach.

So it’s a pretty roundabout way of saying “I don’t feel guilty for fooling around”. Not that I’d have time for those kinds of things recently.

Same shit different day. Didn’t get much sleep earlier cause I had to finish my book thing, and even after working all afternoon on it I’m still 14 pages short. I need to finish it later cause I need to return it to the library tom. Such is life, lacking sleep my eyes are all droopy again. I hope today isn’t going to be too busy.

Holy is having half your brain turned off. And the remaining half holds firm beliefs in pink flutterring fairies.  The book I was working on was about child psychology, it’s amazing how people can’t let go of childhood fantasies well into their golden years. In this country, there are posters in the streets warning about the consequences of being gay, that they’re certainly going to burn in hell for it. It’s amazing how the people who printed that crap can be “certain” of anything. Religion breeds bigotry, and free thought leads to satan, lead the way to hell then.

I’ve always told these religious bibly folk to read their bibles, after all it has rape, murder, and a whole series of other crimes representing the worst in humanity history has ever witnessed. It’s been the inspiration for senseless murders for thousands of years, justifiying cutting women up into little pieces, or stoning them to death in the streets.  I’m surprised so many women are religious.

Is it any wonder sane people are so frustrated here?

Apparently scientologists are all space refugees fleeing from an intergalactic dictator named Xemu. A lot of christians belittle the group for their beliefs, but shouldn’t we all just respect each other’s religion? We all have the right to worship whatever fluffy god we so choose, be it intergalactic dictators, gray aliens, and flying spaghetti monsters.

But then again, intergalactic refugees travelling in DC-9 space planes is just as equally absurb as an omnipotent, omniscient deity, “benevolently” impregnating a human woman, who in turns has a child that ’saves” mankind. Save us from what you ask? Sin of course, because as duly dictated by the deity, we are sinners for existing. Because we have freewill, but we don’t do what we’re told.

And as reminder to would be parents everywhere, feed enough religious nonsense into your kid’s life and they’ll end up like me. Don’tlet them read the bible on their own if you want them to stick to your religion, that thing has porn in it. I certainly wouldn’t want to read about donkey genitals again myself.

I searched the net for the names and aliases of some of my friends and an old girlfriend or two. It’s kind of interesting how some of them have moved on with their lives, others dissappeared, and how some of them remain nostalgic, leaving messages here and there, trying to get the old groups back together again. I have to admit, I’m tempted to reply to some of the messages I found, and that I know if I dig deeper, I could probably find and contact some of them, but I’m not sure if I should. I was a different person then, I didn’t have responsibilities. Plans change, and some goals just didn’t pan out.

Another day and more tedious shit. If I didn’t have to constantly deal with people, this job wouldn’t be so bad. Aside from the crashing programs and nonsensical coaching crap we have to put up with. I was recently reprimanded for non-existent procedure. I’m not one to complain about corrections, we all have to go through that, but the fact that I didn’t follow procedures that didn’t exist, and I was held accountable for it, that’s just… crazy? stupid? how about insane?

I’ve been so busy it’s crazy. I’ve got probably six more books to go through, and I need to save up a few hundred thousand for this december for certain “expenses”. I have to have enough for my tuition for next year too. That and my TV just conked out, I need a new one. Too bad I don’t have enough money to get a new one.

I’ll probably be getting one of those 4×4x4 cubes next week. I got the 3×3 and the 5×5, I’ve so just solved the damn thing once, (5×5), as I don’t have the patience to really focus on it right now.  Just want to get all the cube types available, so it can be some kind of collection thing.  It felt really good to solve that thing, I felt like my brain was put through a rice cooker, it was warm and mushy.

There’s no other job more tiring than helping people. Not so much as the “helping people” part but the really aggravating situations are usually with the “higher ups” arrogantly proclaiming they could have done better.  WIth their one line logs, and vague descriptions, sure they could do better, in hell probably.

Maybe I’m just tired, or maybe it’s really just reasonable to whine about jobs that require clairvoyance, expecially if there’s no set processes in place. One time they’re explicitly asking you to follow the written directions, the next day they want you to use common sense. It’s draining my will to work, and I’m very responsible person, no wonder ten of our collegues quit just a few months into this year. I’m still hanging in there, but this way of life sure is making me very angry. I can feel my lifespan shortening with every minute I spend here.

But here it is, just wating for me to write more crap into it. I’ve recently been surfing around the net, cause there’s nothing better to do here at work, other than waste time surfing using the bank’s network. A lot of crap happened this year, if I could I’d wish this year away, I don’t need this year. Too many things were lost, and I couldn’t do anything about it.

How do you fight death? I wonder if I was there at the point of a person’s death if there was anything I could do. I think about my guinie pig, I tried to keep him awake, I kept bothering him hoping hed’ keep breathing, but he stopped breathing anyway. You can’t hold onto life, it slips away and you can’t do anything about it. I wonder if souls are real and if you could trap them. And I’d think about all the souls I’d like to keep. In games you could trap souls, you could shoot them with arrows and keep them in bottles. Nevermind who they were before, all the souls looked the same. Once you had enough of them, you could sell the little buggers at a potion shop. So sell me your souls for a pretty wish”